Healthy Selfishness

Bruno Pelletier

2009-07-09T00:17:00.000-07:00

Bruno Pelletier is a kind of this year's discovery for me. This Canadian may be known to some english speaking listeners, however in Poland he is probably less than known. When I tried to buy his new CD I couldn't find in anywhere, so probably I'll have to search on e-bay. Nonetheless it's really worth to listen to his excellent voice, not forgetting his really good looks :)

Nature's Duality

2009-07-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't felt it for quite a long, more than a year actually. It strucked me few days ago, after the amazing Matt Dusk live concert I watched. It always does after I've felt great excitement- the longin for something unreachable dawns on me. It takes me few days to recover.

But there were times it lasted for weeks, making me miserable, but yet in a way also feeling sweet and dreamy. That was also the time my imagination fixated and creativness bloomed. The kind of self-destructive energy which found a comfy nest in my soul, like a parasite draining the optimism, but then again giving that sense of the possibilities I have.

That's the nature I have- on one side I cherish the moment I live (as I deeply feel that this life is all I have and I have to grasp it with my both hands), on the other- I long for the alluring things I can't even name, which I feel are getting away when I live the life I live. Stuck between the impossible and the present it requires from me a lot of time and self -improvement to hold the balance, sanity and harmony in my life.

The Short Story about My Son

2009-06-27T01:45:00.000-07:00

The King is dead - Long live the King

2009-06-26T04:44:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking hard on how to start this post as every beginning that comes to my mind seems a cliché. It's always that way when You're dealing with something great. One feels speechless and overwhelmed when it comes to embracing it. That's why one can only focus on a small part of it, on one's own experience, on one's emotions. An no doubt Michael Jackson has been, is and will always be great. And it's really chalenging to write something that is not banal. To escape it, I will just drop few lines. The rest will stay deep inside me.
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I remember listening to Michael Jackson's music back in my early school years. It was a frenzy hearing such music from pirate tapes (I come from Poland and those where the first years of capitalism after the cummunist era), looking at Michael's faces staring from the posters on my wall and watching his great videoclips. All my first musical infatuations came along with the platonic love for the idol. He was sooo handsome, so talented, the hell of a dancer ... . But when I started to mature, leaving those childlish obsession behind, the true value of that fascinanting music came into light. Countless times it made me shiver in excitement, gave me pure pleasure of listening to those genuinly mesmerizing tunes. Michael Jackson was a great artist and his work will be recognizable for ages.
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Apart from his artistic creation, he was an exeptional, oversensitive man, who was definately overwhelmed by the life he was living. A controversial person who was accused of many things, but also given a boundless love. The mystery man, who lived the life in camera flashes, but has never revealed himself totally. Whatever is Your attitude towards Michael Jackson - the man, Micheal Jackson - the artist- will undeniably always be special and unique.
Rest In Peace My King.

Enlightment

2009-04-08T05:35:00.000-07:00

The New Thing to Remember:

Contemplate the daily routine

It may sound hard to do, but once You switch to it, it gives the whole new meaning to the ordinary stuff that goes around. Try to do things precisely, with no hurry, focusing on one thing in time. Practising it gave me the balance and harmony, and that was exactly what I needed for the spring coming. It keeps my mind clear from anger and rush, making life easier to grasp. Go ahead and try. You won't regret it.

My Son- Dominik

2008-10-31T02:06:00.000-07:00

I'm proud to announce that two months ago, on 1st of September, my baby has been born to this world. We've been waiting for him for 9 long months, and when He finally entered to our live we have instantly fallen in love with Him.

Having a child is an ongoing adventure. Every day brings new happiness. His smiles and "talking" make me cry with happy tears. It's love impossible to describe, a totally different shade of that feeling. I can't imagine the life without him now. And here's my boy:

Lucian Freud

2008-05-14T05:43:00.000-07:00

You have probably already heard of Lucian Freud- the artist, whose painting "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping" was sold for more than 34 million dollars (22 million euros) in New York Tuesday, becoming the most expensive work ever by a living artist.

.I haven't seen his works before, but the one sold yesterday made me very interested in his paitings. So I searched art portals and there are few really cool examples of Lucian Freud's artistic talents I found.

Reflection (self portrait), 1985

Reflection with two children (self portrait), 1965

Girl with a white dog, 1951-1952

Interior in Paddington, 1951

1947, Girl with a Kitten

A girl or a boy?

2008-05-12T00:34:00.000-07:00

Friends call me a feminist. And I surely take myself for one. Limiting women's right in any part of life makes me furious. We are equal to men. We are as strong and as smart as men are. Centuries of male domination are over. Thanks to many bold women who started the change, we finally gain the respect we deserve. Therefore I can't agree with stereotypes that I sometimes hear from women.

Example: Few days ago I met a friend whom I haven't seen since I got pregnant. As she is a mother of one year old boy we talked a lot about the pregnancy and birth, as any advice and help I can get now is very valuable to me, especially from friends who have recently experienced what I go through now. Inevitably we also talked about the gender of the child, which is still unknown to me. So of course she asked what were my preferences. What could I say? I've always dreamed of a girl, but the moment I got pregnant the most important thing is that the child I'm bearing is healthy. Nothing more, nothing less. And there she comes with something like this : "I tell You, the boy is 100% better. At least he won't bring home a child". Come on! How can an educated woman say such rubbish? And even if that was supposed to be a joke, it wasn't funny to me at all. Saying such things degrade women and is appalling. Why do we have to demean ourselves this way, not appreciating the effort of years of ingenuine struggle of women to come to the place we are now?

Go with the Flow

2008-05-08T23:44:00.000-07:00

Contrary to what we usually believe, moments like these, the best moments in our lives, are not passive, receptive, relaxing times - although such experiences can be enjoyable, if we have worked hard to attain them. The best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.

Mihály Csíkszentmihályi from his book "Flow"

I came across that quotation on Mind Hacks- the page I daily visit, dedicated to psychology issues. Taken from the book "Flow" which presents the theory of the state called by the author "the state of flow", the idea interested me very much. Flow (in short) is the mental state of operation in which the person is fully immersed in what he or she is doing by a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity.

I understand it as the moment of pure creativity, when the person is totally engrossed in the action, forgetting about the whole world, concentrating on this one and only thing. How many times it did happen to me- I can't even count. It's like getting into the depth of oneself and pouring one's inner consciousness into the activity, blending oneself with what one is doing, becoming the thing one is creating. It can be anything- drawing, singing, knitting, baking a cake, scrapbooking, learning new skills- whatever that makes me fully involved and happy. Though I try to live consciously and always mindfullness is my goal, those moments of full, subconscious engagement in activities are really precious to me.

Hello again!

2008-05-08T02:58:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody! I haven't written and even checked on my blog for almost 5 months, but I see today that many of You are still dropping by. And that's the hell of an inspiration for me.

First of all, few words to explain myself why I haven't written for so long. Well, I've started writing blog in my national language and I didn't want to repeat myself. But now I think it doesn't have to be this way, or at least I'll try :). Many important things happened to me during those months of silence, but the most serious and the happiest, but also most surprising is definately pregnancy. That's the reason for the joy but also anxiety and great responsibility that fell upon me and my husband. Our now 23 weeks old Baby is growing in my womb, kicking from time to time, letting me know It really exists. That's the little miracle that's happening to me every minute of my life now, changing what I thought was uncheangable, creating what I thought could never exist, making me feel emotions I could never predict would be a part of me. The life is a continous adventure- now more exciting than ever. I hope I'll have opportunity to share it with You.

Creativity? Forget it!

2007-11-29T04:36:00.000-08:00

It's been long since I was here last time! Sorry! I've been struggling with my throat illness but mostly I still struggle with the lack of inspiration. No time to wonder and wander. I spent my free time rearranging my house, cleaning piles of dust and dirt in the corners of my rooms what leaves just few seconds to read or watch something. I feel my creativity is at the level zero. Hope it will get better. I simply have to push myself and motivate somehow. Any advice?? Anyone??

They call it Halloween, I call it Memory

2007-10-31T14:35:00.000-07:00

Forgive me the lack of inspiration that fell upon me in October. I'm a working girl, adrenaline hits my head, too many things to focus on.

But tomorrow will be the day of peace.

No matter whether You believe in god or You don't, each of us has relatives, the love ones, who are not with us anymore. Bones turned into ashes are blown away by the wind. It's the memory that lives. It's that simple- just don't forget.

Pin-up girls

2007-10-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

I found pin-up girls really alluring. The images are frivolous, yet discreet, and very, very charming. More to see at Brenda's Babes. Enjoy!

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Analog Earthquake

2007-10-15T12:51:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! I wanna introduce the music of my very talented friend- Krystian, with whom I had pleasure working with few times. Check out his Analog Earthquake music. I hope someday we'll have a chance to do some music together.

Here's one of my favourite pieces he created lately.

Nobel Prize

2007-10-12T03:33:00.000-07:00

Nobel prize in literature for Doris Lessing- prolific english writer.

Honestly speaking I've never before read any book or story by her, but I'm pleased that due to the Nobel prize I will have a chance to discover her prose. For those who also aren't familiar with Doris Lessing's writing, here's the link to her story "The Stare" published in The New Yorker (the magazine I truly adore for its intelligent and witful articles and fiction stories).

Nora and James

2007-10-10T03:05:00.000-07:00

What a beautiful movie- "Nora" by Pat Murphy. The story of the life long relationship between Nora Barnacle and James Joyce. The hard love, full of great passion, but also pain of misunderstanding and sacrifice. Nora was Joyce's muse and inspiration. Their unconventional relation resulted also in controversial letters sent to each other, full of intimate and erotic parts, which unfortunately were never published by Joyce's relatives.

Back to the movie, James Joyce by Ewan McGregor was in my opinion one of this actor's finest performance.

The movie reminded me of John Huston's marvellous film- "The Dead", based on the last novel in "Dubliners" by James Joyce. The incredible atmosphere and the care for every detail, makes the movie a masterpiece. It was so influential, that after watching it I couldn't help, but read "Dubliners". That's when I discovered Joyce's genious prose

27th Birthday

2007-10-07T03:21:00.000-07:00

What can be better than Birthday on lazy Sunday day?

The birthday cake is still in the oven, filling the house with marvellous smell,

the radio playing smooth jazzy songs and blues.

And it doesn't matter that it's gloomy outside,

beacuse the warmth of my home wraps me all around.

Home, sweet home on my Birthday.

My love ones on my Birthday.

Happiness is a small thing, right here in my heart.

And that's how it was on my 1st Birthday

Thanks Ben

2007-10-02T02:08:00.001-07:00

Hi everybody! Let me introduce myself in picture this time. So, here I am!
That wonderful cartoon of me and my husband was made by a great artist Ben Heine,
whose talent and creativity are simply infinite.
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See Ben, how happy You made me!
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I'll consider Your gift as a birthday present.
I'm turning 27 on the 7th of October.

Scrapbooking

2007-09-28T04:49:00.000-07:00

Scrapbooking is so alluring. I love looking at those tiny, creative works of art. I even bought few accessories to start scrapbooking by myself. But ... I'm afraid nothing but the s... will come out of it. However, I wouldn't be me if I didn't try. So maybe I'll show You some of my work (if they ever come to live).

How do You feel about scrapbooking?

Any valuable advice You can give me?

Housewife in 50's

2007-09-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

The following is actually taken from a 1950s Home Economics textbook intended for High School girls; guidelines on how to prepare for married life.

1. Have dinner ready: Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him, and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospects of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.

2. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

3. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too.

4. Prepare the children: Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

5. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad to see him.

6. Some DON'TS: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

7. Make him comfortable: Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

8. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

9. Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his need to be home and relax.

10. The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax.

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You know what? I'm lovin' it. And I'm lovin' those time ARE GONE :)

My Quote: Rabindranath Tagore

2007-09-20T10:59:00.001-07:00

The butterfly counts not months,

but moments

and has time enough.

Rabindranath Tagore

Just a thought. Cherish a moment.

Illustration Art

2007-09-20T10:35:00.000-07:00

If You want to get to know about artists who illustrated stories, advertisements and comics in the 20th century, visiting Illustration Art is a must.

I both enjoy watching and reading it. Truly engrossing.

Illustration by Norman Rockwell

If You have an interest interest in illustration from the 40's and 50's check out

Today's inspiration.

Traveler's Soul

2007-09-20T05:08:00.000-07:00

Do You happen to know who Ian Wright or Megan McCormick are? Anyone?

Probably You don't, unless You watch Travel Channel or Discovery Channel Adventure. They are both travelers, hosting their own travel programmes in the series Globe Trekker. Why do I mention them?

Firstly,because if I have more than a one free day (which is now, as I suffer from acute laryngitis), I love to indulge in watching travelling programmes. Yeah, the soul of the adventurer wakes up in my troubled existance, and with the click on the remote control, I can find myself anywhere I want. It's cheap, it's fascinating and of course ... it's lame, as it has nothing, I mean nothing to do with the adventure and travel. But, it's the first step to the real travelling and excitement, as there has to be a dream and desire for something to happen. And what's better way to make it burn, than firstly seeing those places and people on the Tv? It works for me, 'cause I'm a really curious person, always wanting to try everything on my own skin. Those programmes definately make my imagination work. And although I'm not a chronic traveler, my inner curiosty of the world made me travel to couple of places and countries I dreamed of. And you know what- I loved it.

Coming back to travelers, both Ian and Megan, are great hosts, which makes a real pleasure and fun discovering the world with them. What makes a traveler a good host? It's great sense of humour, curiosity, being open towards other people, but sometimes also being courages and ready for sacrifice and really crazy things that may happen- for instance hunting for anacondas. As for me, such host also has to be an erudite, but in both witty and comprehensible way. Such are Globe trekker presenters, which makes it one of the best travellers' quides programmes I've ever seen.

Sisterhood

2007-09-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Teenagers. How difficult it is to sort out the problems when You're 13-14 and Your sister is 4 years younger than You? Believe me- I knew it. It seemed like the life she lived was totally different. Nothing in common, nothing to share, constant fighting. Nothing to talk about, because she couldn't understand problems I had, and I was far too immature to be understanding and help with her "childlish" issues.

Yes, I remember those years, and I also remember when it changed. It wasn't when I was 19- 20, but it happened I quess 3-4 years ago. It was when my sis was stepping into adult life, when the decisions she was to make were to determine what she'll do in her life, when she realised the responsibility for her actions and the future she had in front of her.

But it was also when I was mature enough to understand her, help her, and simply say "I love You", "I care for You". When I realised she has her own feelings and the right to make her own decisions in life. That's when I grew up to be supportive, not only nagging and giving advice.

We can disagree with each other, but we'll never fight. We'll help each other and support. I can surely say that she's one of my best friends. And it's so funny to see, that although we also thought we are totally different from each other, indeed we make the same mistakes and think the same things.

No wonder- we are Sisters.

The City I live in

2007-09-18T04:38:00.000-07:00

I came up with an idea to show and tell You a little bit about the city I live in. If You know where Poland is :), then look on its North- East end. There You'll find the largest city of the region- Białystok .
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The population of my city is almost 300 000 citizens, so it's not so small for people to know each other, but it's also not that big, that You have to travel from one side to the other for hours, waiting in traffic. As for me it's just fine.

More historical details You'll find following the link- Białystok, but in short, the first mention of the place in historical sources dates from 1437, but it received its city charter in 1749. From those days we have left many beautiful buildings. The most magnificent would be Branicki palace, which is surrounded by massive park with lots of charming benches and fountains. It's definately the place where couples in love can find a little peace cuddling, students come there after classes or exams, but it's also a great place for a Sunday walk, or a bike ride.

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Białystok is a city with university. In Branicki Palace there is now a medical school. Near the Branicki park You'll find the building of the university law school, where I did my master degree in criminology.

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More pictures to come soon.

September came

2007-09-12T12:54:00.000-07:00

September weather- not summer and not yet autumn. But it's lukewarm and the Sun makes the whole day bright. I had a week without rehersals, as we simply were overworked during August and we deserved the break. So much of free time, few moments for myself and to take care of house duties. I thought I lost the ability to notice and cherish the moments, but it was simply the rush and haste of the days, which didn't let me stop. Today when I went to take care of some business in the city I took a moment to simply sit down on the bench and listen to the birds singing their good-bye to summer days. It was wonderful!

Fragile Health

2007-09-05T01:17:00.000-07:00

Few days ago I happened to visit diabetology ward in one of our city hospitals. Thank God it had nothing to do with my health, but my job, nevertheless though it made me feel depressed. Long, gloomy, filthy lounges remebering the 70-ties, overwhelming silence. I wouldn't like to work there nor be there under any circumstances ever! It made me instantly imagine myself dying alone on squeaking hospital bed, surrounded by the mournful silence of those sad, hostile rooms. And that made dying even more frightening than it already is.

One good thing- in the waiting room where I spend few minutes, I got to know about diabetes. And I tell You, if You don't take proper care, it can get really, I mean really messy.

On the back in the days yellow walls, information boards with medical companies ads, not even trying to be discreet. Yeah, ill people are the hell of a market. They will pay whatever money for whatever medicine giving even the slightest chance for the cure. That's called basic instinct- staying alive with whatever means it takes.

Speaking of the devil, I'm on antibiotics therapy now. Having so many singing jobs obliges me to be healthy. I can't fail- noone of my band can. So even the slightest pain in my throat, even the quietest sneeze or a drop from my nose makes my alarm RING. No time for waiting to see what will come out of it. I go straight to my doctor for the imidiate cure- no matter the cost.

Recipe

2007-08-25T03:31:00.000-07:00

What's the best way to start lazy Saturday morning?
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1. Wake up
2. Make Yourself a cup of latte
3. Eat light breakfast (mozarella with tomatoes will be just fine)
4. Turn on Your best radio station and enjoy the music they play.
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As for me the best time is 11 o'clock when in my radio they play mexican music. I turn it on loud and there's no possibility that that music will fail. I don't speak spanish, but thanks to the Wojciech Cejrowski, who is the host of the programme, I know what they sing about, though the energy and passion of the music would do just fine even without knowing the words. Whether it's sunny, stifling morning or gloomy, rainy one, I quarantee that latin music will wake You up to Your best.

I simply can't do

2007-08-24T13:32:00.000-07:00

Oh, I'm mad with myself. Mad that I neglect writing here. Every thought that comes my mind evaporates before I manage to get down to my computer or at least my notebook. It's frustrating. I even think of making a resolution to write every day, to put down the thoughts crowding here and there in my blonde mind, but I hate when something goes not the way I want it, so I think I better leave the things the way they are.

Pitiful Me

2007-08-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

I wanted to see that sunrise again

Feel Your fingers fiddling with my hair,

The thrill of excitement.

I missed the sunrise.

The morning breeze messed my hair.

Nothing comes back.

Julian Beever

2007-08-16T11:46:00.000-07:00

Julian Beever is a really amazing street artist. Check him out!

False Memory

2007-08-12T08:45:00.000-07:00

During the Second World War Nazis stole over 500.000 priceless works of art from Polish museums, private homes and collections. Paintings, sculpture, art of all genres and periods, from ancient to modern- many of them are lost forever, many are in hands of German museums and private collectors.

In the end of the war in fear of bombing, Nazis packed treasures from Berlin National Library of Prussian Cultural Heritage into 505 wooden boxes and hid them in the South Poland in the Monastery in Krzeszów. After the war, almost all boxes were found by polish authorities and taken to Cracow. The treasures were stated as deserted by invadors and therefore where in time they were counted into the collection of National Library - Biblioteka Jagiellońska.

The same situation was with the collection of airplanes from Deutsche Luftfahrt Sammlung created in the 30s by Hermann Göring (if someone doesn't know he was a commander of the Luftwaffe, tried for war crimes and crimes against humanity at the Nuremberg Trials in 1945-1946 and sentenced to death by hanging). In the autumn of 1943, after the heavy bombing of Berlin, the part of best preserved airplanes were hidden in Kuźnica Czarnkowska in Poland, where they where found in 1963 and were counted into the collection of the new Polish Museum of Aircraft in Cracow.

And what happens now, in 2007? Germans accuse Poland of "stealing" aformentioned treasures and want them back. Can You imagine? Because it's far beyond my reasonable thinking. Invadors accusing the invaded for looting artworks, which the invadors hid in the occupied country.What a nerve!!! And I have to mention, that Germany never paid for all the artworks stolen and destroyed by them in Poland.

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And it has to be mentioned than stealing artworks from Poland was afore planned. In 1941 Germany published, in only few pieces, the cataloque of the most precious artworks from Polish collections, which were to be counted into the planned by Hitler museum in Linz. Those were the treausres which each museum in the world could only dream of. From that cataloque Poland managed to retrive only around 40%, among them Lady with an Ermine by Leonardo da Vinci and works of Rembrandt. The fate of many of them is still unknown.

.Nazis stealing the treasures from the Polish Zachęta Museum

Musing on Outlaw

2007-08-10T16:59:00.000-07:00

I love english movies. The comedies are so down-to-earth, so bitter- sweet- they talk of real life. They show ordinary people, struggling with everyday problems. So is with their drama movies. I've just seen "Outlaw" by Nick Love.

No american commercial movie can show what european movie does. I'm in sheer horror, beacuse violence showed in the movie can really happen to everyone walking on the street. Just few hours ago, when I went outside to put the trash into dustbin, I got scared by the man, who suddenly appeared in front of me, simply out of nowhere, walking fast, with anxious moves. It made my heart beat faster, muscles tensed- just for 2 seconds maybe. The man passed me by and I rushed to the doors trying to hear what's going on beside my back. I'm not particularly scared of my town. Never nothing bad happened to me. But I quess that's only my false impression, which slowly makes my instict sleepy. And that can be dangerous.

"Outlaw" shows violence, shows people who stood up against it and got sucked into the vicious circle that violence gets people into. Should we fight criminals their way, when legal defence is not enough? Where does it lead us? But isn't it justified to come back to the "eye for an eye" rule? So hard to speak on that issue, no answer is good enough. And that what makes it so terrifying- living in the world ruled by national codes and international rights, so neat, so polished, so faked, we fail in the eyes of the unexpected. And that reminds me of the thing I'm scared the most- becoming a victim of senseless, mean act of violence. The one You can't understand, can't explain, can't predict and can't prevent.

I'm afraid of Helplessness...

Rejoice- Friday evening

2007-08-10T03:36:00.000-07:00

Ahhh, the hasty day at work is over. I'm at home, took a long, cool shower and chill out laying naked on the bed. I have a free weekend so I'm planning nice evenings with my Man. At last a moment of peace in my life. And I'm gonna enjoy it and drink till the last drop and I'm gonna love it. Cook something delicious, buy couple of bottles of good wine, watch some movies and read. Wishing You the same on that hot, summer, friday evening.

Shit

2007-08-10T02:10:00.000-07:00

There are days when out of nowhere I'm angry with everything that comes my way. I'm rude, picky and nervous about every small shit that happens not the way I want it. And today is the day!

All office appliances don't work fast enough, business matters I'm responsible for fail, coffee spills all over the officce floor...

And there's nothing I can do about it- You have to live with it!

SHIT

2007-08-06T12:56:00.000-07:00

I don't watch TV lately ... well lately meaning about two years. Only morning I turn it on to see or rather hear the news channel while I prepare breakfast and get ready to whatever will happen that particular day. But there are maybe two series I can't miss- one of them is certainly is "Inside the Actor's Studio" conducted by James Lipton.

In short, actor's invited there speak of their life and artistic experience, of the way they work on their characters, of their emotions and what drives them to be an actor. The interviewers are usually Hollywood stars, but that's the magic of that series- it doesn't depict them as fancy, glamorous celebrities, but as true actors pursuing the truth in their work, the essence of acting. Not all interviews are good, not all of the actors should be the best example, but many of them truly are. One of them is certainly Angelina Jolie, whose touching and very honest interview You can see following this link.

Enjoy!

Si-fi crap?

2007-08-02T00:22:00.001-07:00

No time for myself... or maybe no inspiration due to the massive amount of things on my head. That's I quess the reason I can't find the motivation to write. All of my free time I spend reading- this time amazing Sergey Lukyanenko. It' s the first si-fi and fantasy author I'm reading. His "Night watch " and "Day watch" impressed me a lot and changed my attitude towards si-fi novels.

Though I never read one, I had already fixed opinion, that they are boring. And as much as I looove good si-fi movies, that much I resented si-fi novels or maybe rather fantasy novels, which I quess differ. I quess it was because they always brought me on mind manga cartoons or RPG games with thousands of crazy creatures like dwarf and ogrs. Yeah, I love Lord of the Rings, but too much is too much.

And then my friend Daniel told me about Sergey Lukyanenko and borrowed me "Night watch". And I quess that was the best choice to start the journey with si-fi novels. So, if any of You happens to have the same doubts as me- don't hesitate to read Lukyanenko.

Relationshit

2007-07-25T23:37:00.000-07:00

Relationships end.

Sometimes it comes naturally, sometimes it's a surprise.

It's either quiet or with shouting and swearing.

Nevertheless, something ends and the void stays.

The new chapter begins- being alone.

And that's the hard time.

So Sis, keep holding on. I have faith in You.

Things WILL get better.

Something to cheer You up- Relationshit by Dane Cook.

Bent

2007-07-13T13:38:00.000-07:00

You've got to see this guy's amazing works!

Bent Objects

Afternoon Reflections

2007-07-13T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hey, little girl with the wind in Your long, blonde hair! What is there going on in Your head? How grand is the amazement that blinked in Your blue eyes? Is that Green leaf on the ground sooo interesting? What do You see, that is so invisible to me? And those fountains, and flowers, and sweet doggy walking near an old man's leg…? I couldn't stop wondering… Sitting today in the park, on the bench in front of the row of beautiful fountains, resting after tiring bicycle ride, I indulged in that childlish innocence that was wandering all around.

Small girls riding scooters, trying to catch pigeons that gather there in hope for a fine feast. A little boy walking hand in hand with his mother, trying so hard to free himself from her grasp, to catch some freedom and use that just acquired ability to walk and run without support. Stubborn 4 years old lady with a funny ponytail just on the top of her head, jumping and singing songs, seeming not to hear her grandmother's calling.

Learn from children- I shivered to realise. Their curiosity, happiness, amazement by the wonders of the world is what we lose, forget, shadow when growing up. And if You got to thinking, those are features that make us creative, and creativity is the divinity in us.
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When coming back I saw teenagers cuddling on benches- first infatuations, first kisses, discovering sexuality. And it struck me- Everything is a cycle. Everything starts, reapeats and ends, just to start again. We come to live, we love, we perish. The circle of life. And life is beautiful. And so are people.
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Today is my sister's birthday- she turns 23 and it seems to be a new chapter in her life. On the birthday card I wished her to cherish every second, as every moment brings something beautiful, and understanding this means starting to live a full life. I love You Sis- no matter what! Happy Birthday!

Beverly Craven

2007-07-07T04:11:00.000-07:00

This song makes me shiver whenever I hear it. It doesn't bring me on my mind any special event in my live (maybe only subconciously), but nevertheless is one of my most precious songs.

.tekst piosenki Promise me - Beverley Craven

Promise me

You light up another cigarette

and I pour the wine

It's four o'clock in the morning

and it's starting to get light

now I'm right where I want to be

losing track of time

but I wish that it was still last night

You look like you're in another world

but I can read your mind

how can you be so far away

lying by my side

When I go away I'll miss you

and I will be thinking of you

every night and day just ...

Promise me you'll wait for me

'cause I'll be saving all my love for you

and I will be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me

I need to know you feel the same way too

and I'll be home, I'll be home soon

When I go away I'll miss you

and I will be thinking of you

every night and day just ...

Promise me you'll wait for me 'cause

I'll be saving all my love for you

and I will be home soon

Promise me you'll wait for me

I need to know you feel the same way too

and I'll be home, I'll be home

Holiday Postcards

2007-07-05T13:26:00.000-07:00

Location: Warnowo, North-West Poland

Date: 27 June 2007

My co- worker friend made a crazy decision and moved from the east Poland where we lived,to the sandy beaches of Polish north coast. She bought a house near the sea, packed her bags and left. There she rents the rooms for tourists and as she says, spends the best time of her life, though there are still many problems with modernising and adjusting the building and yard. She invited us and we decided to spend our short holidays at her home. For me it was rather a decision to meet a friend as I was always saying that I hated polish sea Baltyk. Why? It is cold, overcrowded, boooring, the weather is very fickle and one can never plan holidays, because of the weather circumstances. However, this was all before I came there two days ago.
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The village we stay in is about 5 km from Międzyzdroje.- . It's a one of the finest polish oversea tourist cities- kind of place with extremely interesting eclectic architecture, with many hotels, rooms for renting, restaurants and tourist attraction, including that beautiful pier we were to. But the city is nothing comparing to the nature and countryside. It seems to be the mix of lakes, mountains and sea in one- and that what makes it so unique. It isn't just another boring oversea city I used to come to previously. The region is the part of the Wolin National Park with great woods, lakes and unique animals which due to its worth are under strict protection. This way it preserved its beauty up till now and we can all see it.
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The first step to the beach was astounding. From the top of the pier we had a beautiful view of the beach underneath. And it really didn't matter that it was full of running and screaming children, women and men of all postures lying on the towels or taking bath in still cool, yet quite nice sea water. If You happen to know the thrill that sometimes goes through the body, that shiver of the unity with the world surroudning You, that fragile moment of the connection with the universe, then well, exactly this happened to me then, when I saw that breathtaking view of the endless sea. The tears came to my eyes, my mind filled with happiness and that was completion- the feeling I will never ever forget. The first step on the sandy beach,feet touching warm and smooth sand was georgous and the bliss fell upon me to stay till today. And though it's raining now and I'm sitting in the room with no electricity (the storm in the night) and no water (the pomp needs electricity to work), it can't shadow the feelings I got yesterday. Oh,I must also mention the birds outside the window that are franticly singing.
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Through those six days of our stay we watched a beautiful sunset, drank beer in the cafe on the beach indulging in the soothing sound of waves and did much sightseeing, taking thousands of pictures, some of which I'd like to share with You. Most of them are mine, but because my Man has a lot better camera than me, his beautiful photos I simply had to put here. So enjoy.

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The sunset by Edward Munch :)

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All pictures taken by me. Ha!

Holiday Postcards by Leszek B.

2007-07-05T13:12:00.000-07:00

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All pictures taken by Leszek B.

Saying Good-bye to Holidays

2007-07-04T05:23:00.000-07:00

Oh My! I came back from holidays into such a hasty week at work, that it's almost a miracle I managed to unpack. This week I promise to publish few photos and the story of my oversea trip. That promise will keep me motivated to write something in that crazy time I'm having now.

Bielarussia

2007-06-17T12:48:00.000-07:00

Welcome everybody! I just came back from the trip to Grodno in Bielarussia, where I went with my company co-workers for the entertainment weekend. It was my first visit there, though Bielarussia is just behind our east border, with Grodno not as far as 80 km from the city I live in.

Bielarussia is specific country. After seven decades as a constituent republic of the USSR Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, Belarus attained its independence in 1991. It has retained closer political and economic ties to Russia than any of the other former Soviet republics. Belarus and Russia signed a treaty on a two-state union on 8 December 1999 envisioning greater political and economic integration. Although Belarus agreed to a framework to carry out the accord, serious implementation has yet to take place. Since his election in July 1994 as the country's first president, Aleksander Lukashenko has steadily consolidated his power through authoritarian means. Government restrictions on freedom of speech and the press, peaceful assembly, and religion continue.

But the country, at least Grodno, seems to be a normal city. We stayed at Semashko Hotel- the only private hotel in Grodno, which, apart from it's totally original interior design, can be recommended to everybody wanting to visit the city.

We were amazed by the condition of roads there (in Poland it still is an urging problem), as well as with the tidiness everywhere from the city centre to the small villages outside the town, where we went to see maybe something more of what is called "the last in Europe museum of communism". In one of the villages we went to a shop, which looked I quess similar to Polish shops in deep communism era.
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The lady behind the counter was a really nice woman- told us about the village, its history and quided us to the river.
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Grodno is situated by the river- Niemen.

To see this beautiful river in more natural conditions, we went outside the city.

Grodno is constantly developing. When entering the city, the look of massive building grounds welcomes tourists.

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The worst thing was the language limitation of mine- my friends speak russian quite well, but with my english only I couldn't communicate with almost no one- including shoppers and bartenders- but this last one wasn't a problem at all :). In fact Polish and Russian languages are more than a bit similar, but having no particular contact with native speakers it's hard to figure out what they talk about. What's more, some of them speak Russian, some Bielarussian- which differs from the first one, some mix those two making it sound strange. By the way- Lukashenko made Russian, not Bielarussian native language. What's more, at schools children can't learn the latter. Strange, isn't it?

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Another astounding thing were some customs we encountered. In the evening young people use to meet in the beautifully tended square parks, and sitting there on benches they chat while drinking wine and beer. In Poland it wouldn't be possible as drinking in public places is restricted. But well, if You want to get to know, locals You have to act like them. So before going to discos, which start not sooner than 12 a.m., we sat in the centre of the old city, boozing and getting to know the natives, who as the matter of fact, are very open and kind people. We didn't meet any restrictions, though people we met there weren't willing to discuss any political issues including Lukasheko himself.

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It's the "drinking park" where we spent two evenings before going to have fun on the disco.

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The sign on the building say "Ja ljublu tiebia Białoruś" meaning "I love You Belarussia". A local patriotism I quess.

Generally speaking,the trip was a hell of a fun and we'll surely come back to Bielarussia, maybe to Minsk this time.

World of Words

2007-06-14T11:36:00.000-07:00

Up until now I've been interested in the origin of only polish words, though many of them come from latin and therefore are more international and can be found in many eauropean languages. But I found a nice page of Oxford- World of Words, where each week they publish new word and its history. A nice word this week. Enjoy!

Budget- [late Middle English] Old French bougette, a diminutive of bouge "leather bag", has given English bulge. Latin bulga "leather bag, knapsack" is the source, of Gaulish origin. The word originally denoted a pouch or wallet, and later its contents. In the mid 18th century, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, in presenting his annual statement, was said "to open the budget". In the late 19th century, the use of the term was extended from governmental to private or commercial finances.

My Body

2007-06-13T02:31:00.000-07:00

How important is it for me to look good? I look in the mirror many times a day, try to keep the proper weight as I know the way I look contributes to the way I feel about myself and the world around me. I like to look good, attractive, sexy- it makes me feel comfortable with myself. I like wearing nice clothes which make my body look good. It gives me a boost in my confidence and mood. I can't deny that the part of accepting myself is accepting my own body, which should be treated like a temple, as it carries our souls and minds through the whole life and is the way to comunicate with people. Do I care for my body too much? Am I being vain? Most will say- hell yeah! But why?

Don't You firstly judge people by their appearance? I do. And it's perfectly natural. And so do all of You, though You may solemnly deny it. After You get to know person's character, only then You can make out what kind of human You deal with. But well, You don't always have such a chance, so the first impression about that person, whether You want it or not, stays in Your head.

How would I react then if my body changed rapidly during and after pregnancy? What would I see in the mirror? Will I have big stretch marks? Will I care for having them? Will it be an issue? And firstly, why do I ask myself those questions, if I don't even think of having children at least for a year.

Well, that is because of The Shape of a Mother - a website, where women post the stories and pictures of their post-pregnancy bodies. It shocked me. It truly did. Why? Because the bodies shown there are usually hidden by long shirts and trousers, never exposed. We're surrounded only by beautiful pregnant bellies of models and actresses, who soon after giving birth amazingly quickly come back to their previous shape. Is something wrong with it? No. It's just very rare, yet for such laymen as myself seems to be a totally normal thing. Well, at least to the moment one of Your friend or yourself get pregnant and see that bodies are different and differently react to the process of "growing". And there I go, another symptom of being a laymen- I talk only of the body whereas pregnency means there is a new life inside, a new human, a miracle of nature that grows in the woman's womb. But would I like my body to change so much? No. Would I give up my good look for my own baby?

... I don't know ...

Yet.

Bliss

2007-06-12T12:25:00.001-07:00

I'm in the "bliss phase" of my life right now. And that means everything makes me happy, my mood nearly close to nirvana, the future is promising and I'm ready for new challenges. My big holidays are waiting for me- lots of places to visit, beauty to see and laughter to share.

Yet in that happiness of mine, there is always a small tint of shade, which I know will grow day after day, to one moment capture me again into the shadow. Up this moment I will sure enjoy that overcoming shivers I get whenever I see or hear something touching. Don't know 'bout You, but India Arie still works for me, especially when listening to her music during my bicycle rides.

And right now sitting on that sweet evening, drinking my latte, having time for my writing and a book, light breeze cooling my body, feeling safe and confident- this is my moment- pleasure of simplicity.

Picasso Project

2007-06-08T14:40:00.000-07:00

I'm indulging in life and art of Picasso. To be born a genius- an amazing, yet frightening and extremely hard way ahead.

If for a moment You'd like to become Picasso, go ahead and give it a try.

Mr Picasso Head http://www.mrpicassohead.com/create.html

Geniuses

2007-06-03T12:03:00.000-07:00

There are people who are born to do certain things, people who would not be themselves having no chance of fullfilling their destiny. Those are geniuses. People determined to act and to create, people tormented with their constant pursue towards perfection, towards making real the ingenius ideas crowding in their minds.

They are the essence of creation. Having touched the invisible and inaccessible levels of humanity, closing themselves to the higher conciousness, they leave the trace for the ordinary rest to follow, so we can make ourselves better by tasting those crumbles of ultimate beauty left for us behind on their way.

My Quote - Pythagoras

2007-06-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

Rest satisfied with doing well,

and leave others to talk of you as they please.

Pythagoras (582 BC - 507 BC)

1500 years and still it's a truth in every word. The more I live and experience, the more that idea appeals to me and turns our right. You can't satisfy everybody! The hell, anyway what's the point in satisfying someone more than yourself?

The inner peace, understanding of one's needs and abilities, as well as settting one's own values and priorities is very important in life. Without feeling good with oneself, how can one possibly be understanding and loving towards the others?

That's why I usually give a f..k about other's opinions about me. I believe I have enough of common sense and experience to tell the sweet lie from the truth, the unfair critics or praise from the genuine concern or advice. My self- confidence and certainty that I have a support in people I love and trust is enough for me.

Barbie World

2007-05-30T04:36:00.000-07:00

Barbie Logo, 1992-1999
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I still can’t figure out what was (and still is) so alluring in Barbie Dolls. Being 27 I still like to look at Barbie dolls I bought myself during my lifetime- first to play with them, later to just own them. Maybe it's freaky, but I also enjoy browsing through collector’s pages.

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My first Barbie was bought in Pewex. For those who don’t know I must explain that Pewex was a chain of hard currency shops in communist Poland. Only they sold western goods in exchange for western currencies - most commonly the United States dollar and the Deutsche Mark. It was a dreamland of each of my friends. In primary school we used to tour to Pewex few times a week just to stare through the windows at colourful LEGO sets and Barbie dolls in their fancy clothes, looking insolently at children of communism deprived of the pleasures Western children took for granted. We were rapaciously devouring every detail just to later dream of the toys we saw through those barred windows.
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And once for my birthday I got an astronomical amount of US Dollars. It was 1,50. What else could I do? Next morning with mum I rushed to Pewex shop and bought the poorest and the cheapest ( costed 1 dollar and 30 cents) version of my dreamy doll. It had shiny, long, blonde hair, was desperately skinny and had only pink bathing suit on. And though she was almost naked, it was the most beautiful toy I ever got. She was treated with respect, touched only with clean hands and of course the object of envy on the playground. But the most jealous was my own, born sister, who soon after I brought my baby home, cut off her foot with scissors. My instant reaction was sheer fury, I beat my sisters so hard that even my mum had to intervene. But later I found it so traumatic and painful that I cried for few days, promising myself to hate my sister till the day I die.
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Then the political times changed to democracy, the market opened to the flood of goods coming from West and I could finally equip my footless doll with all necessary things. For years my best birthday or Christmas present were Barbie accessories including clothes, furniture and cars. Of course once I also got Ken, so that my dolly wasn’t lonely. She had her wardrobe full of clothes, bedroom, bathroom, dining room and great car for weekends with bed and a kitchen. I spent hours playing, sewing and knitting new skirts and blouses for my doll.

When my teenage years came, my Barbie doll had to retire and was spending most of her time on the shelf, helplessly looking at the ups and downs of growing teenager. To make her moveless time more bearable, during my stay in US I bought her two new friends. I was 17 at that time, but simply couldn't resist when I entered to the collector's shop in Chicago. Those new girls were shiny new, in beautiful dresses and additional accessories and looked so poshy next to my worn-out old one, but nevertheless the footless Barbie will still be my best. Now they are all packed in boxes, stored deep in my wardrobe and I quess waiting for another small girl, who will bring them back to life again.

Crazy Summer

2007-05-28T11:53:00.000-07:00

The most crazy time of the year began for me- almost each weekend over-night singing jobs, many rehersals- earning money to satisfy pleasures. It will be an exhausting season, yet also rewarding, as our hard work brings results.

But two amazing, though short, holiday trips await for me. Two weeks of sheer relax and selfishness- one by the see, another by the lake. Wonderful! I'm already anxiously waiting for it, carefully planning details to see as much as I can. My great dream is to next year visit Egypt or Kenya, though as I see, Egypt is for now more financially available.

Yeah, sweet, sweet dreaming. What would life be without it? Aren't dreams and fullfilling Your ambitions the whole our time here for? Each time I have doubts about doing something or I feel tired of work, I remind myself this simple truth- I'm not going to live forever, so I must do everything to make myself feel good, but with keeping myself fair towards the others. So I'm indulging in small pleasures, in my lovely habits, in my peacefull meditations of moments to feel connected to the universe around me and to find balance within myself. Sometimes I lose it, I feel like drowning into the dark abyss, but somehow I always come back to the surface. Now I'm floating on it, deeply catching breath, enjoying my days.

Wishing You the same.

Coming back

2007-05-20T19:39:00.000-07:00

I just came back from the other world. The world I very randomly visit- and this time in a rather business matter. It was a disco! I was hired to sing few songs there. Oh my! Am I too old or from the other age? Or maybe I'm an old conservative bitch? Or maybe I'm generally too old for that kind of spending time or, to make it precise, for spending time with such people? Those girls, those guys, the amount of alcohol they pour into their young bodies, their behaviour, their priorities, their disrespect for bodies and souls. It was apalling. Beautiful young girls with tones of make-up on their faces, letting themselves touch for much older guys looking for a bit of fun without consequences, and doing it for a drink, a bottle of beer, few meaningless sweet lies, some kind of false appreciation. Am I that old-fashioned or is this world really going to a disaster?

Hangover

2007-05-19T01:30:00.000-07:00

Yeah, having fun with friends is terrific, but mixing beer with vodka is a disaster. Truly, I hate waking up after the night in pub or elsewhere with alcohol in the bar, especially, when I recklessly made an appointment with someone for the next morning. Having shower with the constant feeling sick is great. I already ate a sandwich and didn't throw up, so that means everything is getting normal. But no matter what, Hangover Saturdays aren't my best.

This is my first post written in bed- well the pleasures of having notebook. Generally bed means only nice things and as I'm loving my new bedroom, this is by far my best place in the flat. It's very sunny today and if You could see that beautiful green trees lurking to my bedroom windows. And those persistent birds- singing loudly all morning.

Yeah, it's definately going to be a nice day.

My New Baby

2007-05-18T03:37:00.001-07:00

HP Pavilion dv6000

Eye Pleasure

2007-05-17T04:51:00.000-07:00

The Stroll, Camille Monet and Her Son Jean

(Woman with a Parasol) 1875

Claud Monet

I continue my quest through world's greatest painters. I try to write about them on my second blog- Painter's Minds , but my greatest pain is the lack of free time. Surely I'll also have to look through Monet's fantastic works. His paintings seem to be alive- their vivid colours and brush handling give make them so dynamic. I chose that painting above for it's spring freshness. Look at the sky- the clouds seem to be moving. Wonderful.

Inspired by the biopic about Picasso, I already got his biography and the book written by his lover Francoise Gillot of the their years spent together. As soon as I finish Hermann Hesse's "The Glass Bead Game" I'll indulge in Picasso fascinating life.

It would be great once to have a possibility to devote my entire time for things fascinating me. Just like Joseph Knecht in Hesse's world of Castalia. Although I tend to be fickle and many times I give up on my hobbies for some time, fortunately I come back to them with twice the passion I used to have. And soon I'll have my own new notebook, which means new possibilities for working at home. I hope then I'll have more time for updating my painter's quest.

My Quote- Oliver Wendell Holmes

2007-05-15T23:47:00.000-07:00

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons,

and You will find that it is to the soul

what the water bath is to the body.

Oliver Wendell Holmes

Does it work? Yes! And I can tell best having at least twice a week rehersal with my band. They are exhausting (we meet after 8 p.m. and finish at 12) but I would never give away the fun I have from it . We laugh and we make music- if this isn't nice, I don't know what is! The worst problem however is coming back home, as my organism is still working on its top and it's awfully hard to get to sleep ... and I have to wake up at 6 next morning. But well, the sweet pleasure for bitter sacrifice.

Simplicity

2007-05-15T23:35:00.000-07:00

source: www.eclecticlove.com

Scenting again

2007-05-14T05:26:00.000-07:00

Another scenting. The smell of chestnuts and jasminum flowers mixed together in that delightful scent bringing back old, cozy memories of the childhood carefree hours spent playing games outside with my friends. Vivid green on the trees surrounding our playground, crazy ideas, tricking elders sitting on benches, constant search for new "bases" where we can hide and secretly observe our enemies from other playground.

My best buddy- friend Paweł and long hours spent on Lego building and playing games on Atari 800 XL, and dancing. Yeah, when we were 11-12 we went to ballroom dance classes together and it took me long days to convince him to taking up such girlish hobby. He's probably as good a dancer as he was. His girlfriend should thank me then for me being so pertinacious :)

M-letter

2007-05-11T03:17:00.000-07:00

The pieces of paper on my office desk are usually full of flowers and M-letters- my way to occupy hands while talking on the phone. As the flowers can say something about my character (naive, optimistic, childlish???), the "M"s are far more intriquing. In fact, I usually realise I wrote them few minutes after I did it, so it isn't something my conciousness registers.

I'm keen on Freud's theory of subconciousness. Our minds are such complicated mechanisms that we can surely make an assumption our subconciousness drives many of our feelings, deeds and thoughts. So having that in mind, once I tried to figure out, whether those M letter I constantly write are something more than a convienient and easy pattern to draw. Well, try to write down couple of Ms combining them in different figures. The options are limitless. Triangles, stars, flowers ... everything is possible. But if I look at it having in mind Freud, those Ms should mean something.

My first thought (and first thoughts are usually the correct ones) was that maybe that's the beginning of the word or words that mean something to me. I realised then many of my friends have names starting with that letter. Micheals, Marks, Martins... Yeah, they are all men. And when to think of it deeper, most of them are definately Marks. What's more surprising the vast majority of them are brunnetes (though it blonde men fire my imagination). Yeah ... Mark. Always with an amazing sense of humour, optymistic, open and intelligent. A guy to laugh, to drink, to talk. Warm, sensitive, usually handsome. Guys from my past (those I fell for or those who fell for me :), guys I still meet with. Yeah, that can be one of the answer to my M-letters.

Under my skin

2007-05-11T00:08:00.000-07:00

Nothing new under my skin:
Blood perversely rushes through veins

Every move strains my muscles

Every heartbeat closes Death.

Moja Nirwana

2007-05-10T09:21:00.000-07:00

Moment bez myśli-

bez bagażu przeszłości

Szczęśliwe nieistnienie-

nieistnienie w szczęśliwości.

Nirvana of Mine

A thoughtless moment-

joyful nonexistance

With no past behind me-

laugh at ego persistence.

Chilling out.

2007-05-10T05:07:00.000-07:00

Few free days I lately had were entirely devoted to myself and friends. There's nothing better than a party with bunch of good, interesting, positivly- oriented friends! Great talks, great laughs and a long-lasting good-power recharging. And when you finally recover from the hangover (I've been experimenting lately and I stick with martini for now), there's nothing more pleasurable then the day in bed with the engrossing book and a cup of green tea, especially when after redecorating, my bedroom is amazingly welcoming and cozy.

I watched a biopic about Pablo Picasso's life and art. What an amazingly prolific and influential artist he was. And his complicated love life- his wifes and lovers- the constant infatuation made him more creative. Women were his Muses, but he treated them in a very cruel and selfish manner. Drained their love and devotion till the last drop to leave them, when the vessel was empty, and so useless for his creative development. The man of the astonishing vitality and apetite for life. The man of the great Talent.

A Post for Blogging Against Disabilism

2007-05-01T02:14:00.000-07:00

Come in handy Handicapped
Show us how to treasure
What we take for granted
Without having a measure
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For we can walk
and march for war
For we can speak
but tell all lies
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Handicapped we are
Though having all we need
With no compasion- mentally ill
Looking so fine- rotten underneath

Blogging Against Disabilism

2007-04-28T03:15:00.000-07:00

Please click the image to get know more!

Morning walk

2007-04-26T02:03:00.000-07:00

On my walk to work I wandered through a little bit older part of my town, with no flats of blocks but small wooden houses surrounded by tiny yards. Lots of them with well looked- after gardens and trimmed trees. As the spring is soon to show its beauty in all details, the plants are ready to go. Shy tree leaves waiting anxiously to show their vivid green, just anticipating for rain, which will push them out of their brown shells. The grass colour is getting more and more vibrant. Only flowers, the kings of flora, are bold enough to already bloom facing colourful petals towards the warmer and warmer sun. Red tulips, glowing yellow daffodils proudly towering above straightly dug flower beds, brightly illuminating on the yet grey, earthy surrounding.

I indulge in Ryszard Kapuscinski "Lapidarium". Short forms of carefully chosen words bringing sense to each small chapter of his writing. He always said, that to write one page, one have to read at least 100. And so You can notice in his works- not even one insignificant sentence. Chekhov said "Brevity is the sister of talent" and no doubt Kapuscinski was a true one.

My Quote- Eleanor Roosevelt

2007-04-26T00:02:00.000-07:00

The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.

Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.

Eleanor Roosevelt

My Quote- Clare Boothe Luce

2007-04-23T06:11:00.000-07:00

Lying increases the creative faculties,

expands the ego

and lessens the friction of social contacts.

Clare Boothe Luce

Wouldn't You agree with that? If You instantly say no, please remind Yourself all the white lies You told Your friend about the new haircut or a skirt, or all the sweet lies, which let You get what You wanted. Lying is like the air we breathe. The philosophers however differ in their approach to that subject.

The philosphers Saint Augustine, as well as Thomas Aquinas and Immanuel Kant, prohibited all lying. According to all three, there are no circumstances in which one may lie. One must (unfortunately) be murdered, suffer torture, or endure any other hardship, rather than lie, even if the only way to protect oneself is to lie.

Sounds ridiculous? In today's world certainly, but my personal method to avoid lying is to avoid any situation, that will make you prone to lying. Being honest in every life situation isn't easy, but it feels better when You don't provoke or simply keep your mouth shut, and don't go blah blah blah about petty matters. Sometimes though being with peace with myself is worth much more than lies, which are a convenient way to maintain my balance.

Feminist crap?

2007-04-23T03:41:00.000-07:00

Sassy Saturday

2007-04-21T00:26:00.000-07:00

My best combination- Saturday morning, smooth jazz and cafe latte! But now in a little bit changed surrounding as the redecorating comes lazy to the end. The sun pouring through still dirty windows brings some optimism into my heart- hopefully for longer this time.

The Giver

2007-04-20T12:06:00.000-07:00

You know I've already once wrote about this man. It was just after his creation touched me deeply. It was John Travolta. Just a second ago I finished watching "Inside Actors' Studios" interviewing Travolta about his career and acting experience. I don't how he does it, but the inner peace and vitality he has, seems to emanate affecting everybody aroud. I truly revelled in listening to him speaking with such passion and optimism. His career wasn't the whole time the winning streak, but somehow he found the joy and the meaning in his life to get through the hard times. I don't know how much of his behaviour is a self creation and how much in it is from genuine Travolta, but that doesn't matter if only You can find there something enriching and positive for yourself.

And You know, it would be thrilling to have a dance with such a good dancer. In my life I have met only a handful of that breed, but when it happened the night was mine- I danced till the bright morning. Too bad my husband is a terrible dancer, but well, I wouldn't be me if it could stop me from having fun. Believe me, whether he's around or not, I will always find myself a man to indulge in dancing with. And that reminds me I haven't been on the proper disco for months, though home dancing parties I lately had really can make up for it. Dancing is like flirting, no matter whether I do it with a guy or girlfriend. Those sultry glances and moves and touching. Yeah, I definately love dancing ...

Falling ...

2007-04-19T01:36:00.000-07:00

I wake up recently in the night, open my eyes, look around and don't know where I am. My heart is pounding, mind full of fear, can't recognise the man lying next to me. The strangest feeling that comes back to me every few months. Insecurity, unhappiness, lonliness. The depth of dark thoughts, flushing my mind from inside. Then the burst of sheer joy lasting half a moment to disappear in the dark again. Loosing my balance, loosing the ground.

F a

l l

And the Winner is ...

2007-04-18T23:34:00.000-07:00

Yes, yes, yes. At last! We're going to kick some asses and hopefully win some matches. It's great we've been given a chance. That's a grand opportunity- I believe we deserved it and it came in the right time!

Scenting

2007-04-13T01:27:00.000-07:00

Do You tend to memorize scents? Of perfumes, people, food, places? Sometimes I suddenly smell something that brings me on mind a certain person or an event from my childhood. Those feelings are so strong, yet so fragile, that they disappear in the moment, but leave the memory still fresh. It may be a smell of the soup from the elementary school diner or the kindergarden bread and honey sandwiches (which I hated). But the most powerful are perfumes, especially men's. They always bring me on mind the guys I know or those I knew. Those who I fell for, those who are my friends.

When walking to work this morning, a man passed me by, and I smelled his strong perfumes mixed with the cool wind. Yeah, it was Him. Long years ago; teenage infatuation. Great, funny guy with dark hair (though blonde man always seem to be more handsome to me) and an amazing smile. Yeah, we laughed a lot. Matching sense of humour is sooo important. So we talked of important and silly things with the same passion. Yeah, so looong time ago.

Happy Easter

2007-04-07T07:16:00.000-07:00

To everybody, those believing and those who don't, happy Easter Holidays. May You all cherish the time You spend with Your families, as those are the most precious moments You can get. The time is passing by, the days are left behind and only memories will stay in Your minds. Let them be good, let them be full of sense. The great philiosopher- Jesus- told us to love our brothers and sisters- and I quess that's the lesson above all!

Happy Easter!

Joss, JOss, JOOOSS !

2007-04-07T02:40:00.000-07:00

The more she sings, the better she gets and rocks the world! The natural, great talent with the great soul! No some shit Paris Hilton or other empty "girls"! Enjoy!

Redecorating

2007-04-02T06:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I don't look here often these days, but having two rooms totally redecorated is a little bit too much for me alone. No time for nothing ...

My Free Day

2007-03-26T09:09:00.000-07:00

My free day ended in an hour of cleaning and few loooong hours of drawing. I simply didn't realise the time runs so fast and the activity is so time consuming. You can see the result here. Maybe it's not something astonishing, but well, that is just a beginning :)

Anyway, it seems that the spring decided to come for good, which makes my heart sing with terribly loud sounds. And tomorrow I quess first bicycle ride to work- splendid.

A Lady Talk (14)

2007-03-23T07:52:00.000-07:00

I am a Queen!

2007-03-23T03:38:00.000-07:00

Oh, India ... Truly amazing: the heart, the spirit, the wisdom! Enjoy!

"Video"

Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't

Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't

Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes

It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul

I'm not the average girl from your video

and I ain't built like a supermodel

But, I learned to love myself unconditionally

Because I am a queen

I'm not the average girl from your video

My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes

No matter what I'm wearing I will always be India Arie

When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me

Every freckle on my face is where it's supposed to be

And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me

My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; I'm lovin' what I see

Am I less of a lady if I don't wear pantyhose?

My mama said a lady ain't what she wears but, what she knows

But, I've drawn a conclusion,

it's all an illusion, confusion's the name of the game

A misconception, a vast deception

Something's gotta change

Don't be offended this is all my opinion

ain't nothing that I'm sayin law

This is a true confession of a life learned lesson

I was sent here to share with y'all

So get in where you fit in go on and shine

Clear your mind, now's the time

Put your salt on the shelf

Go on and love yourself

'Cuz everything's gonna be all right

Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks

I don't need that to have a good time

Keep your expensive car and your caviar

All I need is my guitar

Keep your Kristal and your pistol

I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal

Don't need your silicon I prefer my own

What God gave me is just fine

Singers' nightmare

2007-03-21T05:26:00.000-07:00

I wonder if the guy didn't choke! Scary ...
.

Sweet Dreaming

2007-03-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

Again-the dreaming-

And that sweet, sweet feeling

when the dream slips woken mind.

And moment of truth

You're gone, no more us-two

And again I'm all alone.

A banal cliché

Fatal anyway

I'm killing the dream

Stuck in reality.

K(orozja) O(słupienie) C(ierpienie)

2007-03-20T04:21:00.000-07:00

Już
czuję-

znów

zaczynam

spadać.
.
Zsuwam
się w siebie
Głęboko
pod
k
o
c.
.
Choć cieplej
choć wiosna-
tu Chłodniej
Więc szczelniej
pod
koc
całą
noc.

Melancholy

2007-03-16T01:13:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a bit under the weather today. Going by bus without anything to read is a total waste of time. I wasted 20 minutes then, as I was rushing out and forgot to pick the book on my way out. Pity! So I was pointlessly looking through the bus window, watching the gloomy world outside, people stuck in their cars and bus stops. Two teenagers loudly speaking of the exam at school, a girl next to me reading tabloid news, and of course my best, around 5 years old boy asking his father thousands of questions. If it haven'y been today, I'd be listening to it with a smile in my head, wondering about the history of the people I see ... But well, today it only annoyed me. Hope the rest of the day will be far more better.

Akiane

2007-03-15T06:25:00.000-07:00

Check this out: Akiane.

It's always thrilling to see someone so talented.

Is it the time?

2007-03-15T05:21:00.000-07:00

I got to know yesterday that one of my friend is very ill and the doctors give her approximately 2 years of life. It struck me like hell! Can You imagine Yourself being told You have only couple of years to live?

I've been thinking about it yesterday evening and asked myself a question: what would I miss or regret? The first answer was, to my utter surprise, having a baby.

Is it the time, then?

Today I saw the pack of three homeless dogs, which were behaving like decent citizens. They waited for the lights to change to green, and only then they passed the street. Can You imagine?

A Lady Talk (13)

2007-03-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

Feel like Browsing

2007-03-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I do web browsing through my best blogs' blogroll. And You know what? People are amazing! Such diversity, so many stories, life attitudes! Creativity simply sparkles. And it gives so many new ideas and positivity! The good energy flows even through the web!

I quess today will be my first- bicycle- ride- this- year!

Simply can't wait.

Bad energy is BAD!

2007-03-12T03:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever met a person who creates totally bad energy?

Constantly nagging, talking badly about people, seeing the future only in black, falsely happy for others' happiness? Those are people that make every meeting with them so exhaustive, leaving so get-lost-world attitude. Something like : "They are so hopeless! The city is simply awful! The goverment, those teenagers- aghh!". And so on, so on ... .

Until You say good bye and look around, and ... wow ... the night is so starry ... the spring is coming ... the first daffodiles You have ever planted start to bloom ... . And so on, so on ... . :)

Daffodiles (some more)

2007-03-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

A Big Day

2007-03-10T02:00:00.000-08:00

A Big Day Today!

My sister is opening her beauty parlour.

Her dream finally came true.

Dreams then really can come true.

I'm preparing snacks

and with couple of friends we'll toast it with champagne.

Good luck, Sis.

I love You!

My Green

2007-03-10T01:46:00.000-08:00

My Daffodiles

(soon to come more)

A Lady Talk (12)

2007-03-08T04:17:00.000-08:00

Great news

2007-03-08T03:06:00.000-08:00

The birds are already singing happily, probably to encourage Spring to come faster this year. And I heard them this morning only beacuse my MP3 batteries needed recharching and I had to leave it home. New technologies drive us away from nature :)

The International Women's Day is a great occasion to get some fresh flowers. Today I got a beautiful bunch of flowers from one of our clients.

A nice feeling- can't disagree.

Through open windows the gusts of wind bring

the fresh air with the smell of soon-to-come Spring.

Spring is coming!

2007-03-02T01:29:00.000-08:00

Can You feel the spring in the air? That still cool, yet nice breeze which brings that undefine smell of freshness, new life short to come? And those shy sun rays which aren't reflected by the snow, but absorbed by the craving earth, soon to blossom with overwhelming green? These are uncatchable moments dissapearing in the blink of an eye, but so powerful, that can lift Your spirit in a second.

India, india

2007-03-02T01:02:00.000-08:00

Good music is the music You have in mind once You heard it. Those are notes that swirl in Your ears, lyrics that make your heart pound and lift Your spirits. And it doesn't matter what other think of it- if it works for You, nothing else matters. India Arie is my number one these days. And so be it!

Greta Oto

2007-03-01T00:46:00.000-08:00

Greta Oto

.
.

A Lady Talk (11)

2007-02-28T06:21:00.000-08:00

A Lady Talk (10)

2007-02-28T06:13:00.000-08:00