Unfortunately...

Miss Fortune had misfortune-

was crashed by wheel of fortune

It was turning far too fast

Be Careful!

It may happen to the best

.

.

(Short note for friends who boast too much :)

Dreamy Invader

You and You

always in my dreams

Real, so real

only when I sleep

Close, too close

makes me feel afraid

That my whisper

will reveal

will betray

that You were here

Short Reminiscence

My muscles hurt... but I don't have a flu.

That's the effect of the dancing party on Saturday. Oh, rock'n'roll and so on. I'm lovin' it! Good company, good music and good vodka - nothing can compare to it.

...

The October Sun flashes through more and more naked branches, the fall loses its magnificent colours. Tomorrow the rain will probably mix dead leaves with mud and soak the greying grass. But that will be tomorrow.

Today the fresh, cool air mingles gently with warm sun rays and all I feel is the unexplained and totally silly joy. I'd like to leave office and go for a long stroll through the park, come back home, make myself a lemon tea and get down to reading. Unfortunately my schedule as always is too full for such luxury. Rehersals, rehersals ...

...

...

Autumn

Thomas Moran

1893-97

While drunk...

Drunk in my mind

Physically sober

That is my way

to survive October

.

Soon to come winter

Freezes my cheer

Leaves cover my bed

Need You to warm me Dear

.

I deeply hope

Like nature blooms

That in the spring

I'll also do

.

.

(really while drunk... fall is killing me...)

Fragile Suicider

I'm helplessly shocked, I'm appalled and terrified!

I'm sorry and sad about what I heard yesterday!

A modest, shy, beautiful 14 years old girl commited suicide,

by hanging herself on the skipping rope.

On the skipping rope which should only be a toy of cheerful,

giggling small girls.

...

Why?

A day before her death, during the lesson at school, the teacher left the classroom. Then few boys forced the girl to take of her pants, they started touching her and pretending the rape. Oh, they were having fun- humiliating and embarrassing the poor, helpless girl. One of them made 20 minute film registered by digital camera in the cellphone. No one reacted- not even one child. They were afraid, as the boys were known for juvenile hooliganism. When the teacher entered the room and noticed something was wrong, all she got to know was, that boys were just picking on the girl.

The sensitive child simply couldn't cope with the shame, it was a tragedy for her. Her world must have totally crashed, the disgrace she felt pushed her to do such a horrific thing. I assume she was a rather introvert person, keeping her feelings to herself, unable to strongly disagree to the unjustice happening to her. But that's not a bad thing to be oversensitive. Such people feel more and deeper, such people become artists and bring the beauty to the world. Such people ... . But unfortunately, not this one anymore... Those fucking immature suckers, who wanted just "to have fun", broke the innocence, trashed it with their dirty hands, stained it with coarse language!

..

Her parents told the press they don't blame those boys and their parents for their daughter's death. WHY THE HELL NOT???? I can't make anything out of it. Who is responsible then? Maybe only partly, but someone crashed the balance of her life.

And now the sad reality of life- they are underaged so probably their punishment won't even make them blink their eyes.

..

R.I.P.

I'm falling ...

Today I counted my second fall this week- firstly the bike :)

and today from the chair :) in the office.

Can You believe it?

Total madness...

The Handicapped

Come in handy Handicapped

Show us how to treasure

What we take for granted

Without having a measure

......

For we can walk

and march for war

For we can speak

but tell all lies

......

Handicapped we are

Though having all we need

With no compasion- mentally ill

Looking so fine- rotten underneath

...

...

(inspired by Bordo)

I'm every woman

I'm every woman

Craving for attention

Sweet lies

not to mention

...

A walking contradiction

Within just one month

Anything can happen

That is woman's life.

...

...

(few verses to excuse myself :)

October Impressions

Autumn trees striptease

Yellow lurking from the tops

Naked branches hold the sky

Melancholy in birds' quiet cry

Sad Conclusion

Don't worry, be happy
Friday the Thirteenth
Nothing bad can happen
Except for this:

...

You spill the milk all over

You crush Your shiny Rover

You really deadly miss her

You stain your favourite T-shirt

...

Don't worry, be happy

Saturday- Fourteenth

Nothing bad will happen

Except for this:

...

You...

...

On and on all over

Like on the carousel

Life chases destiny

Through triviality...

...

...

...

And here just a short fiction from The New Yorker http://www.newyorker.com/printables/fiction/061016fi_fiction

Childhood Love

Can You believe it ... Yesterday I saw my kindergarden boyfriend...

I haven't seen him for... let's think... 21 years. But as far as I remember it was him.

Oh, probably the first "love" in my life. I remember him wearing girlish leggins and the flowerish apron. But above all that he was very sweet- he drew pictures for me (unfortunately all my kindergarden "artworks" were thrown away to trash by my highly not sentimental daddy), he shared with me toys and was my second half when the whole group had dancing classes. I admired him for knowing geography (although I didn't know that word then)- he impressed me as he was the only child who could show on the map Wisła- the greates river in Poland. One stormy afternoon, when it was raining cats and dogs , we took a very grave decision- we decided to get married. In our talks about our future life together our greatest dream was ... to have a colour TV.

You must know, that my kindergarden years were closing Poland to the end of comunism, but still we had to wear red ribbons and sing and recite poems about Stalin and ZSRR. The shops were almost empty, people had to stand in few-days-queues to get a fridge or a radio, and for the car- of course only produced in comunist country, one had to wait for months. So having a colour TV was rarity.

Well, that's just a colourful memory from those grey and scary years.

The Decency of a Villain

Recently I live decently

Do no harm to myself

With no compunctions

There's no self destruction

Relaxed

Oh, what a wonderful weekend I had! I was cooking delicious meals, drunk wine with friends. The lazy motion of those two days at last made me feel relaxed and peaceful.

And today the Sun fills my heart with joy.

And I lightheartedly give a damn about the right and wrong, giving up to sweet carelessness.

Happy Birthday to ...

I shut my eyes and blow 26 candles on my chocolate birthday cake

and I wish...

.... shhhh...

I won't tell, I want it come true someday.

...

Oh, what a date, what an age.

When I was 16 I thought, that at 26 I will know it all! How to live, what is important, does god exist, what is right, when the time is perfect? Oh, the innocence and carelesness! All I can realise now is that it's impossible to know everything and that learning is the whole life process. I wish myself the best- the wisdom and the idea to use it.

...

Happy Birthday Dominika.

...

Birthday card from my aunt.

...

Birthday flowers from my sister.

...

Birthday present from my husband.

The Greed

Oh, God's little malice
Forbiding the greed
When it's all people's nature
The craving for life

To grab it and taste it
With their mouths full
They mumble sinning
always yearn for more

Insatiable desire
Never to be fullfilled
But that urge lasts forever
But that is all in vain.


(inspired by Bordo)

A Plea

Yes, I plead guilty- guilty of neglect.

Gulity of not having enough time for myself and friends.

Many memories and thoughts are knocking in my head and I have no time to let them out.

And I feel a constant disability to focus and concentrate on the essentials.

...

I'm in the middle of "The Satanic Verses" by Salman Rushdie . Oh, what a book- full of everything, packed with multicultural details and delightfully distant! And so I loved "Baudolino" by Umberto Eco.

The fall is always composing great with the books. Maybe because turned pages rattle the same as colourful leaves falling from autumn trees. By the way -" Autumn Leaves" by Eva Cassidy- immortal and ALWAYS makes me shiver.