Thursday, July 02, 2009

Nature's Duality

I haven't felt it for quite a long, more than a year actually. It strucked me few days ago, after the amazing Matt Dusk live concert I watched. It always does after I've felt great excitement- the longin for something unreachable dawns on me. It takes me few days to recover.
But there were times it lasted for weeks, making me miserable, but yet in a way also feeling sweet and dreamy. That was also the time my imagination fixated and creativness bloomed. The kind of self-destructive energy which found a comfy nest in my soul, like a parasite draining the optimism, but then again giving that sense of the possibilities I have.
That's the nature I have- on one side I cherish the moment I live (as I deeply feel that this life is all I have and I have to grasp it with my both hands), on the other- I long for the alluring things I can't even name, which I feel are getting away when I live the life I live. Stuck between the impossible and the present it requires from me a lot of time and self -improvement to hold the balance, sanity and harmony in my life.

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