Positivity

The September Sun, which successfully imitates summer, makes me feel over the Moon. The positive vibes explode, lots of good tunes all around, I take it easy on me. The notes are getting back to me- still searching, but they are closer than ever.

Life is delightful!

Mother's-in-law wishes...

That's our decision! When we feel ready, when we feel it's the right time, when an indescribable inner voice in us will start to whisper- that's the time!

I won't let anybody put a pressure on us! Noone's dreams and cravings are ours, nobody lives in my skin, thinks my thoughts!

Nobody owns my womb.

I refuse to fullfill else's expectations! I refuse to listen to good advice, to be patient to constant nagging!

Having a baby is not a marital duty! Being overwhelmingly fertile is not a fulfulment of public service!

In Haste

No time for me, for the love ones, for friends.

All the time in a hurry.

I try to cheat the night, I try to cheat my mind, everything seems to turn upside down.

The week seems to be longer, my weekends are gone, I sleep the whole Sunday, to wake up Monday morning and rush to work.

Oh, sweet November- how I yearn for You to come, though I hate Your tears and moods that streap the world of its colours to leave the sheer nudity.

But You will bring back my weekends!!!

The weddings are killing me!

Just the shouting of a desperate :)

The Province

Each time I visit a provincial town I always seem to get a feeling of deja vu. They all look the same with their distinctive charm, slow rythm of the streets and curious but open people, who seem to wander in no precise direction. Some of them are especially catchy and interesting to me- they are inevitably the most colourful detail in sometimes gloomy provincial scenery.

With their cravings confined only to satysfy a burning desire for a sip of liqor, they are flowing with the lazy motion of provicial time. Crowding on square benches and shop windows niches they contemplate the complexity of the world trying to find the best way to survive another day. Provincial drunkards whose tired, alcoholic glances bend the sorrowful reality to the needs of drunk minds, like magicians, with every sip they slide deeper into the ilusive, carefree existence where the thoughts seem to stretch and imagination blasts with the most unbelievable ideas. Some smiling benignly in the alcoholic blackout, some skirmishing over perochial life or death matters, others mumbling about the long lost youth and innocence. On and on... from the bright morning till the darkening night, from the first to the last drop.

...

Jan Gotard "Drunkard" (1929)

...

Dog's Boredom (Tina as a female model)

The Connection with the World

I love that overwhelming moments when it suddenly occurs to me that the world is so beautiful! All of a sudden its beauty strucks me like a thunder. For a few minutes in amazement I'm contemplating the wonders of nature- every tree and flower astonishes me with its fragile perfection, the colour of the sky fills my pupils with the spectrum of blue and clouds seem to shape in every single thing my vivid imagination can dream of. Everything seems to fit to each another. The feeling of an infinite connection with the world around calms my anxiousness. That soothing emotion overcomes me and for a moment I feel a profound sense of inner peace. Oh how I yearn for that feeling to last forever... But it disappears and leaves the longin, which makes me constantly look for that found and lost peace.

Memory

The Memory of what should be forgotten,

as it existed just for a sleepless night

to fade away with the naked sunrise,

still lingers somewhere deep within

Though crashed with realm of impossibility

sometimes wakes up in the september sun

in torment leaves the stable heart of mine.

A Fighter

I happen to be a really curious person. Although my curiosity sometimes causes me trouble, it also gives a chance to learn, meet and experience many interesting things and people.

Have You ever spoken with an accomplished boxer- a guy with a broken nose, scary look in his eyes and broad shoulders proving hours of trainings and fights? Having in mind only stereotypes of such people, I was eager to meet one. And I had a luck to meet few of them at one time two days ago. I couldn't let go a chance to speak with one of them.

"My" boxer, who has already had 213 fights and is a multiple champion, turned out to be a very intelligent and educated person (beside fighting is now doing a master degree in international relations) so it was a nice and interesting talk we had. Of course I asked him thousands of questions to learn about all matters which were intriguing me while I was watching boxing fights. Does it hurt? What gives him the strive to step on the boxing ring? How does he mentally prepares for the fight? I learned that many times he is fighting not only with other boxers, but also with stereotypes, including those, that boxers are generally stupid and agressive people. Of course exeptions always prove the rule, but in fact they learn to be more self-aware and self-disciplined than any of us, as the strenght and skills they have can be disastrous if used not on the boxing ring. I got to know many details on boxing history and how it changed through the years, learned about contusions boxer suffer from and many other engrossing facts about that sport. It turned out it takes a real deal of hard work, both physical and psychological, to be a good boxer. And as we met at the wedding, from my own observation I may add that some boxers are really talented dancers. :)

A School Day

A sudden blast of the north, september wind hit me when I was stepping out from my house today's morning. It made me shiver all over my body and weaved the smell of the autumn into my hair. "So it comes..."- a gloomy thought crossed my mind.

How powerful are habits, dreams and memories (both good and bad) of our childhood... The 1st of September is a first day of a schoolyear. From the beginning of my educational "career" it always announced the end of the summer and holiday freedom, and the beginning of school routine, exams, shorter and colder days drowned in the constantly pouring rain. Although I have already finished my education (for now at least), that day will always be the same for me. And though, believe it or not, I woke up with no awareness of the 1st September, the frigid gust of that harsh wind quickly reminded me of that mournful day.