Friday, May 11, 2007


The pieces of paper on my office desk are usually full of flowers and M-letters- my way to occupy hands while talking on the phone. As the flowers can say something about my character (naive, optimistic, childlish???), the "M"s are far more intriquing. In fact, I usually realise I wrote them few minutes after I did it, so it isn't something my conciousness registers.
I'm keen on Freud's theory of subconciousness. Our minds are such complicated mechanisms that we can surely make an assumption our subconciousness drives many of our feelings, deeds and thoughts. So having that in mind, once I tried to figure out, whether those M letter I constantly write are something more than a convienient and easy pattern to draw. Well, try to write down couple of Ms combining them in different figures. The options are limitless. Triangles, stars, flowers ... everything is possible. But if I look at it having in mind Freud, those Ms should mean something.
My first thought (and first thoughts are usually the correct ones) was that maybe that's the beginning of the word or words that mean something to me. I realised then many of my friends have names starting with that letter. Micheals, Marks, Martins... Yeah, they are all men. And when to think of it deeper, most of them are definately Marks. What's more surprising the vast majority of them are brunnetes (though it blonde men fire my imagination). Yeah ... Mark. Always with an amazing sense of humour, optymistic, open and intelligent. A guy to laugh, to drink, to talk. Warm, sensitive, usually handsome. Guys from my past (those I fell for or those who fell for me :), guys I still meet with. Yeah, that can be one of the answer to my M-letters.


bordo said...

first! ;)

bordo said...

and about the M, maybe its Money :>

Nika said...

I don't think it is Money- I don't think english while "not thinking" I quess. But who knows. Thanks for the hint- I'm still thinking about my M-letters- it's quite engrossing. And I'm a freak I quess :)